Category Archives for "Relationships"

How to Overcome Shame and Guilt and Love Yourself Instead

Shame and guilt often come up around relationships, especially after a breakup. Because these feelings are so common – so damaging to our lives and our communities – I decided to write an entire blog post on overcoming guilt and shame.

Guilt and shame exist at low vibrational frequencies. These emotions have a horrific effect on our lives.

The effects of guilt and shame include:

  • Lower energy

  • Lower power

  • Poorer life circumstances

  • Poorer relationships

  • Less abundance and success

  • Less love and happiness

  • Poorer physical and emotional health

Because of the low energy of these emotions, people whose consciousness resides in this state drain us on all levels. We tend to avoid people like this. They often find themselves surrounded by people on the same level (e.g., in jail). Perhaps worst of all, when your consciousness lies at the level of shame and guilt, you don’t even want to be around yourself – much less those like you.

Here’s the good news about shame and guilt:

But the good news is these feelings can be easily let go of or released. They are like a tiny smudge on the vast, innocent ocean of perfection and love that is your true nature. As you let go of negative feelings, you will feel more positive feelings – more of what you truly are. You will feel more courageous and loving. You will notice increasing effectiveness, success in life, and a more effortless abundance of everything you are seeking.

As you let go, people will naturally want to be around you. Our state of consciousness emanates from us like a field. When people come into contact with each other, they feel each other’s consciousness – at least on a subconscious level. You may not be aware of this, but it’s true if you think about it.

Why some people have “bad vibes” and “good vibes”

How often have you come into contact with someone and thought to yourself: “he had a bad vibe” or “she had a good vibe”? You can detect someone’s “vibe” because you can perceive their field of consciousness.

Those who occupy higher, more positive levels of consciousness attract others. People want to be around them because their positive frequency makes those around them feel good. This explains why people like Gandhi attract huge crowds of people. They have large, positive energy fields and it feels amazing to be in their presence.

The same is possible for you. As you let go of negative feelings like guilt and shame, you will raise your vibrational frequency and your life will begin to improve. At first, these feelings will keep coming up. But the more you let go of these feelings, the more you will have energy and courage to handle them. Why? Because in letting go, you have taken back your power and self-adequacy.

Shame and guilt rarely manifest as pure states in an individual.

In the next section, I’m going to describe guilt and shame in more detail. While you read this, keep in mind these feelings rarely manifest as pure states in an individual. Levels of consciousness vary; you may operate on one level in a given area of your life and on quite another level in another area.

For example, you may be courageous in your career, but experience guilt and shame around relationships. Or you might feel guilt and shame in regards to your body and your health, but feel much more positive about the rest of your life.

Your overall level of consciousness consists of the sum total effect of these various levels. If you raise your level in one area, the rest of your life get a boost also. Sometimes when people work on relationship issues, their career improves first. Or someone is working on money issues and their relationships improve.

Letting go of shame and guilt improves your experience of life.

Regardless of where you are feeling guilt and shame in your life, letting these feelings go will result in a tremendous improvement of your overall experience of life. Guilt and shame represent the heaviest of emotions. If you drop them, you will be casting off a great burden from your consciousness. You will likely feel lighter and more energetic right away. And if not, then please persist in letting them go. The more you put into this, the more you will get out of it.

The truth about shame and how it affect us.

The level of shame is perilously proximate to death. Those who feel strong feelings of shame often choose conscious suicide or, more subtly, electing for death by failing to take care of themselves. Commonly, people at this level of consciousness often die due to avoidable accident or reckless behavior.

We all have some awareness of the pain of “losing face” or feeling like a “nonperson.” In Shame, we hang our heads and slink away, wishing we could immaterialize.

Traditionally, banishment comes with shame. In the ancient societies we all originate from, banishment equivocates to death. Humans are social creatures and we cannot survive on our own.

The effects of guilt and shame on addiction.

Early life experiences such as sexual abuse or neglect lead to shame. These experiences warp how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Dr. Gabor Maté writes in his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, that the homeless drug addicts he treated all had one thing in common: they all suffered severe neglect and abuse as children.

These poor souls used drugs in a desperate attempt to escape the guilt and shame instilled in them as children. These people to rarely recover from their addiction, and their life expectancy is short. The only way to recover from addiction is to let go of the emotional pain you are using the addiction to escape from.

Shame is a tool of cruelty.

People use shame as a tool of cruelty, and its victims often become cruel themselves. Shamed children brutalize animals and each other. The behavior of people whose consciousness remains this low is dangerous: prone to paranoid delusions, some become psychotic or commit heinous crimes. Serial killers often act out of sexual moralism, they justify their crimes as punishment for “bad” women.

Some shame-based individuals compensate with perfectionism and rigidity, becoming driven and intolerant. Notorious examples are the moral extremists who dig up some minor “offense” a public figure committed in the past and publicly shame them for it. They project their own unconscious shame onto others and they then feel justified in attacking them. Since shame pulls down the whole level of consciousness, Shame results in a vulnerability to the other negative emotions, and therefore often produces false pride, anger, and guilt.

The truth about guilt and how it affects us.

Guilt, so commonly used in our society to manipulate and punish, manifests itself in a variety of expressions:

  • Remorse

  • Self-recrimination

  • Masochism

  • Victim-hood and Victim consciousness

  • Unforgiving attitudes

Because guilt demands punishment, it often results in disease, accident proneness, and self-harm. A common self-inflicted punishment is denying ourselves the good things in life we desire: loving relationships, success, abundance, and good health. Just like our parents punished us for bad behavior by withholding dessert or playtime, we punish ourselves by denying ourselves the good things in life.

Guilt-dominated consciousness results in a preoccupation with sin or wrongdoing.  Those who feel guilty often have an unforgiving emotional attitude frequently exploited by religious and political demagogues. They use guilt for coercion and control of others. Such “sin-and-salvation” merchants, obsessed with punishment, act out their own guilt, or project it onto others.

How guilt affects relationships and sexual behavior.

Another way guilt manifests is in self-harm or the desire for pain and punishment. The massive success of the book and movie 50 Shades of Grey and the popularity of sadomasochism shows just how much guilt exists in our culture. Women are especially drawn to this because our society makes them feel guilty for having sexual desire or expressing their sexuality. Punishment and humiliation in the context of sexuality brings gratification to guilt they feel regarding their sexuality.

Guilt provokes rage and violence.

Guilt provokes rage, often expressed in murder and killing. We often think of anger as the emotion of violence and killing, but way more people are killed because of shame and guilt than anger.

Capital punishment exemplifies how killing brings gratification to a guilt-ridden society. The American culture, for instance, scorns its victims in the press and dispenses harsh punishments that have never been demonstrated to have any deterrent or corrective value.

Many people struggle with guilt their entire lives. Others desperately attempt escape by amorally denying it altogether through things like atheism and moral relativism. But denying guilt does not make it go away. Only by letting it go or surrendering to it, can you become free of guilt.

How to overcome shame and guilt.

As with any emotion, guilt and shame can be easily let go of. Because it is so contrary to our innate innocence and perfection, it feels heavy. Holding onto these feelings can be like dragging a steel anchor behind us everywhere we go.

Because they feel so heavy, letting them go results in a huge boost to your consciousness and quality of life. In contrast, emotions like anger and pride can be much harder to let go of because carry much more power and energy and guilt and shame.

The simplest way to overcome shame and guilt

The quickest, and simplest way to let go of guilt and shame is to welcome the feeling, and then make the decision let it go. This is the opposite of what we normally do with uncomfortable feelings. What we usually do is try to push these feelings away or hold onto them as if they are real, meaningful, or important. And while you are trying to push them away, you are also holding on to them. To cease to fight with them or attempt to figure them out is to be free from these feelings.

Instead, if you decide to welcome the feelings of guilt and shame, they will release all on their own. The decision to let them go is often unnecessary, but can be helpful for especially sticky feelings.

So let’s first try this with shame:

Allow yourself to think of some situation where you are feeling shame. Where you’ve been feeling belittled, disgraced, or dishonored.

And just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

And could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

And could you let that feeling go, as best you can? Could you drop it, or just open inside and allow the feeling of shame to release?

Do this as many times as needed to release the feeling of shame.

Now let’s do the same process with guilt:

Allow yourself to think of some situation where you’ve been feeling guilt. Where you’ve been feeling regret, remorse, or like “it’s your fault.”

And just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

And could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

And could you let that feeling go, as best you can? Could you drop it, or just open inside and allow the feeling of guilt to release?

After you’ve let go of these emotions, you can include the bonus process of choosing to love. See below for more information.

The 3-Step process for releasing guilt and shame

Another way you can overcome guilt and shame is with this three step process. It’s a little different than the previous exercise, but not much. Some people find it to be more effective than the above process. I recommend you try both and see which one works best for you.

Step 1: Become aware of the feeling and allow it to be here.

The first step to letting to become aware of it. Oftentimes, we try everything we can to escape or avoid feelings like shame. We use things like drugs, alcohol, television, sex, etc to numb the pain. But when we do this, it doesn’t make them go away. It only covers up the emotion and the pain for a short while.

Instead of trying to avoid the feeling, allow it to be here instead. Allow yourself to experience it fully. Feel whatever sensations in the body arise with that feeling. Notice any pictures or sounds in your head it’s bringing up. The more you can allow or welcome the pictures, sensations, and sound associated with the feeling of shame, the more easily it will release. To welcome or allow opens your emotional floodgates. When you do this, the emotion flows out naturally just like water would.

Step 2: Notice and allow any wanting to do anything with or about the emotion

Next, notice any wanting to do something with or about that feeling. When we experience an uncomfortable feeling like shame, the first response is to want to get rid of it or push it away. And this keeps it stuck. In fighting with the emotion, we only make it stronger. So along with the sensations, pictures and sounds, notice also any wanting to do anything with or about that emotion.

Step 3: Notice and allow how personal it feels 

And finally, these emotions feel personal. When we experience something like shame, there is a sense of ownership – like it’s about you, about who you are, or that it belongs to you. So notice and welcome or allow any sense the feeling is personal.

Bonus Step: Choose to love yourself

After you follow the first 3 steps, you should at least feel much lighter. But you don’t have to stop there. In doing the first 3 steps, you have most likely created a lot more inner space. Now you have some room to feel love. At this point, you can choose to feel love for yourself or simply to choose love instead of shame.

Love constitutes a high vibrational frequency. It remains much closer to your true nature than shame or guilt. The more you can feel love, the more it will burn away the negative, lower vibration emotions like guilt and shame. It may seem difficult to love at first, but just allow yourself to love as much as you do or as much as you can.

It may only be a little at first, but as you stretch into love, you will feel more love flowing into your consciousness. It’s like trickle of water flowing through a hole in a dam. It may be a small hole and a tiny trickle at first, but over time the water will carve a larger and larger hole. Soon there will be a deluge of water flowing from a gaping hole.

As you let go of shame and guilt, you increase your capacity to love.

As you choose to let go of shame and guilt and choose love instead, your capacity to love will increase. And with that love, comes everything you’ve ever wanted – happiness, the love and affection of others, great abundance, and limitless joy.

Eliminate Shame and Guilt Now

Now you can get a free 1-on-1 coaching session with me to help you let go of shame and guilt. You’ll discover my “secret” method to easily release shame and love yourself instead.

To claim your free session, sign up below. On the next page, you’ll be connected with my scheduling app where you can find a time that works best for you.

How to Get Over a Bad Breakup Fast

Breakups are painful. It hurts to lose someone you cared for – even if you know deep down it’s for the best. The feelings of shame, guilt, grief, and apathy left after a relationship ends can be painful. Sometimes we carry these feelings for far too long. This robs us of our enjoyment and colors our perception. Often people with unresolved feelings from previous relationships will end up repeating the same patterns with different relationships.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In this article, you’re going to discover some simple, proven techniques you can use get over a breakup quickly.

Relationships Take Time to Heal

Anytime a relationship ends, it takes time to heal. Like a physical wound, there’s a healing process that takes time. However, it doesn’t have to take that long. A physical wound can take a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but usually not longer. Healing the emotional wounds left after a breakup doesn’t have to take longer than that either.

Picking a wound or not caring for it properly slows down the healing process. The same goes for the emotional wounds left behind after a breakup. We often pick our emotional wounds after a breakup or don’t tend them properly.

Here are some common ways we slow down the healing process:

Blame and Judgement

We frequently blame ourselves or our partner after a breakup. But blame won’t do you any good. It doesn’t matter who did what or what went wrong. The relationship is over. When we blame or judge, we are focusing on the negative aspects of the relationship. This doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t serve you.

And blame and judgement demand punishment. When you blame or judge, it’s you who gets the punishment. We punish ourselves after a breakup in many different ways. One of the common ways is to go right back into another dysfunctional relationship. We put ourselves through the same painful process all over again. Another way we punish ourselves is to deny ourselves any relationship or love. A life devoid of love is the ultimate punishment because without love, there is no happiness or joy.

When you let go of the guilt and forgive yourself and your former partner you will stop punishing yourself. This article show you a practical exercise for doing this.

Trying to Escape or Suppress the Pain

Another way we slow down the healing process is to escape or suppress the emotional pain. We do this in many ways. A few examples include food, alcohol, or having empty, meaningless sex. Escape can feel good in the moment, but the escape is a temporary fix. After the alcohol wears off, the tub of ice cream lays empty, or the sex ends, the agony returns.

Some people become addicts in their attempt to escape their emotional pain. Because of the temporary nature of escape, we tend to use it as much as we can to escape suffering. This doesn’t work. The consequences can ruin our health, careers, finances, and reputation.

Expression and Lashing Out

Another way to deal with a the pain of a breaking is expression. This can be healthier than escaping or suppressing the feelings. Having a good cry or venting your feelings to a friend or therapist can alleviate the suffering of a breakup.

But society conditions us against expression. Society tells us “big girls don’t cry” or “real men don’t cry” and so we often choose suppression and escape rather than expression. And expression isn’t always appropriate in the moment. You wouldn’t want to scream or cry, at work. Many times we’ve suppressed so much we can’t even allow ourselves to express how we feel.

Along with suppression can come lashing out. We feel so angry or betrayed by our partner, we seethe inside and devise ways to get back at them. It may seem like retribution will heal your broken heart, but it will not. Retaliation may give you a temporary boost, but it will only add to your pain. After you have gotten your revenge you may feel more guilt for doing something mean and nasty to another human being, let alone someone you once loved. This guilt only adds to your agony.

Letting Go: The Key to Healing Your Broken Heart

The third and best option for dealing with painful feelings after a breakup is letting go. It’s a natural ability we all have, is seldom used. Have you ever seen a child upset, only to be happy and joyful a few moments later like nothing had happened? This is the magic of letting go. We all had the ability to let go as children, but our parents, society, and institutions conditioned us against it.

They tell us to “suck it up” or “keep a stiff upper lip”. Instead of processing our emotions in a natural way, we suppress them or hold them back. This becomes a habit we carry with us into our adult alives.

You don’t have to keep suppressing your feelings. And you don’t have to express them, either. Letting go is the simplest and most effective way to heal from any past trauma. It’s easy to learn, and easy to do.

How to Let Go

There are only two steps involved in letting go: welcoming, and deciding to let go of the emotion. This is the opposite of what we usually do with uncomfortable feelings. We normally try to escape them or get rid of them in some way. This doesn’t work, it only strengthens the power of the emotion. As Carl Jung famously said, “that which you resist, persists”.

Instead of resisting the emotion, welcome or allow it instead. That’s step one. Often allowing is enough for the emotion to release all on its own. If there is still some emotional charge left, the next step is to decide to let it go. This too goes against our normal behavior. Often we hold onto emotions as if they are meaningful or important.

Feelings Only Lie…

For example, we have a common belief that fear keeps you safe. But that’s simply not true. Most of the time fear works against you. The paralyzing effect of fear often prevents people from taking the action necessary to keep themselves and loved ones safe. You’ll also hear stories about how people overcame fear to escape danger or achieve great things.

This brings us to the next point about letting go: feelings only lie, they tell you what you will get from letting them go what you are already getting from holding on.

Later on we are going to let go of some common post-breakup feelings. And if you can remember that feelings only lie, it will be easier for you to let them go. When you let go, you will feel lighter, happier, and more comfortable. The suffering you feel will at least be lighter. If you keep letting go, it will disappear or dissolve completely.

Common Post-Breakup Feelings and How to Let Them Go

There are several common feelings people experience after a breakup, they are:

  • Shame – A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

  • Guilt – Feeling like it’s your fault and/or judging or blaming others

  • Apathy – Feeling hopeless, helpless, or like you are the victim.

  • Grief – The feeling of sorrow, loss, and regret.

There are, of course, other feelings we can experience after a breakup. The above feelings make breakups the most painful. If you can them let go, you heal the wound left by your relationship rather than picking at it or letting it fester. Letting go of these four feelings will make a huge difference in your post-breakup life.

How to Let Go of Shame

Shame is the most painful of all emotions and proximate to death. Often people kill themselves in one way or another due to intense shame feelings. After a breakup, it’s common to experience the pain of “losing face” or feeling like a “nonperson.” We hang our heads and slink away, wishing we could disappear. 

The good news is because shame is so heavy and painful, there’s a big incentive to let it go. Just like it is easy for you to drop a 100 lb weight, it’s easy to let go of shame. It weighs so heavily on our consciousness and drains our energy, so the incentive to drop it high.

Use this 3-Step Process to Let Go of Shame:

Step 1: Allow yourself to think of some situation in your life, where you’ve been feeling shame. Just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

Step 2: Could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

Step 3: Could you let go of the feeling of shame? Just do the best you can. It’s just a decision. So could you decide to drop that feeling of shame, just for now?

Repeat these steps until you feel like you’ve released the feeling of shame and you’re ready to move onto the next emotion.

How to Let Go of Guilt

After a breakup, we feel guilt over the things we did or didn’t do. We also judge or blame our former partner for whatever they did or didn’t do. Guilt provokes rage. Sometimes rage leads to murder and killing. We often think of anger as the emotion of violence and killing, but way more people are killed because of feelings of guilt than anger.

You can feel guilt over a breakup for the rest of your life, or you can decide to let it go now and be free of it forever. Letting go of guilt is like pulling out a splinter from your skin. It feels much better and the healing can now begin.

Use this 3-Step Process to Let Go of Guilt:

Step 1: Allow yourself to think of some situation in your life, where you’ve been feeling guilt. Where you’ve been judging or blaming yourself or others. Just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

Step 2: Could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

Step 3: Could you let go of the feeling of guilt? Just do the best you can. It’s just a decision. So could you decide to drop that feeling of guilt, just for now?

Repeat these steps until you feel like you’ve released the feeling of guilt and you’re ready to move onto the next emotion.

How to Let Go of Apathy

Apathy is a feeling of numbness or powerlessness. Like “it’s no use in trying”. A common apathy-driven dialogue we have after a relationship goes like this:

“I just keep making the same relationship mistakes. I’m no good and the people I date are no good. I guess I’ll be alone forever. Why did I even try?”

Apathy is a better feeling than guilt or shame, but it still feels bad. There’s no power in apathy. Often there is a feeling that we are the victim. It’s a low energy, low empowerment emotional state.

Many people stay in apathy way too long after a breakup. They tell and retell the stories of how terrible their ex was. And this keeps them miserable. You don’t have to do that. You can easily release apathy using the same process we’ve been doing. Here it is:

Use this 3-Step Process to Let Go of Apathy:

Step 1: Allow yourself to think of some situation in your life, where you’ve been feeling apathy. Where you’ve been feeling powerless, like “it’s no use” or like you are the victim. Just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

Step 2: Could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

Step 3: Could you let go of the feeling of apathy? Just do the best you can. It’s just a decision you can make right now. So could you decide to drop that feeling of apathy, just for now?

Repeat these steps until you feel like you’ve released the feeling of apathy and you’re ready to move onto the next emotion.

How to Let Go of Grief

Grief is common emotion we experience after a breakup. In grief, we feel things are too difficult; we’ll never make it; we are unloving and unlovable. We have thoughts such as, “All the years I’ve wasted.” It is a feeling of sorrow, loss, and regret.

With grief come feelings of abandonment, pain, helplessness, and hopelessness. It’s common to experience nostalgia for the way things were – wishing we could go back.

It’s the feeling: “I’ll never get over this. It’s too difficult. I tried, but nothing helps.”

It’s not too difficult. Grief can be let go of just like any other emotion. There is a natural healing process after a relationship that takes time. You can’t be rid of grief right after a breakup just like you can’t heal your a wound right after the injury. But most people hold onto grief for far too long. They don’t let the wound heal.

Once you let go of grief, you will feel like things are looking up. Like maybe you can love again and that things will be alright. Try it and see for yourself.

Use this 3-Step Process to Let Go of Grief:

Step 1: Allow yourself to think of some situation in your life, where you’ve been feeling grief. Where you’ve been experiencing sorrow, loss, or loneliness. Just take the first thought or feeling that comes to mind.

Step 2: Could you welcome whatever pictures, sensations, or sounds that brings up in awareness? Could you allow that to be here just for now?

Step 3: Could you let go of the grief? Just do the best you can. It’s just a decision you can make right now. So could you decide to drop that feeling, just for now?

Repeat these steps until you feel like you’ve released your grief.

Letting Go of Other Breakup Emotions

There are of course many other emotions you might still be going through. But if you continue to welcome them, and let them go then you will release them and they will no longer pain your consciousness.

I hope you continue to use this process. It may seem difficult at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Soon you will find letting go becomes natural for you. And the more you let go, the more you will elevate your mood. You will feel happier and more loving. And this will pave the way for a new relationship – one that’s even better than the one you had before!

I can help you get over your break up…

Now you can get a free 1-on-1 coaching session with me to help you get over your ex and move on with your life. You’ll discover my “secret” method that heals past relationships so you can move on with your life.

To claim your free session, sign up below. On the next page, you’ll be connected with my scheduling app where you can find a time that works best for you.

My Law of Attraction Love Success Story

How I attracted my ideal partner in 30 days (and how you can too!)

This is the story of how I used the Law of Attraction to effortlessly create my ideal relationship with my girlfriend Laura. She is my best friend and a wonderful partner. The relationship we share is the best we’ve both ever had.

This story has some implications for you: no matter where you’re at in life, you can always turn things around. And it’s easier than you think to attract your ideal partner and create a loving relationship.

As you’ll discover in this story, I went from being a geeky guy to being a suave (and unhappy) player and then realizing the infinite love available to all of us and the innate ability we all have to create whatever we desire in life. 

I started out as an overweight, nerdy kid.

When I was a teenager I was shy and socially awkward. I was overweight and into nerdy things like Dungeons and Dragons. I grew up in a strict religious family where sex was a taboo topic.

Because of all these things I didn’t even try dating. Well I tried a little, but I was so shy and awkward that I gave up after a few failed efforts.

In my late teens I began to go to the gym and lost a lot of the excess weight. The improvements to my looks attracted the attention of a girl at my church. Despite her making obvious invitations for me to talk to her, I didn’t because I still had the belief that no one wanted to date me.

Eventually this woman’s dad decided to intervene and set us up on a date. It turned out that we had a lot in common and got along well. We kept dating and fell in love rather quickly. Because both our parents were religious and we were in love, I asked her to marry me.

A brief marriage and devastating divorce.

After a brief marriage of two years, she asked me for a divorce. This was devastating to me. And I was rebounding. Because I didn’t have any other experience with women and dating I did what any other geeky guy would do – start reading books on the topic. This was also when I learned about the Law of Attraction.

Some of the books were lousy, but some were good. Like many things in life, success with dating is often counterintuitive – the opposite of what you think will work, often works. I had to unlearn a lot of bad behaviors and learn new ones.

And I had to become a better person – I had to grow and improve. This is paramount to success in any endeavor – becoming greater than your problems.

As I put what I learned into practice, I began to have success. I met some great women, and some of those women ended up being my girlfriend.

But none of them lasted. And I was not happy or fulfilled despite getting all the female attention I wanted. Sometimes when you get the thing that you think will make you happy, it doesn’t.

Frustration with life leads to spiritual awakening.

After several years of partying and picking up women, I became frustrated with life. I had been seeking happiness and fulfillment from the world – money, sex, etc. None of these things gave me the fulfillment and love I wanted.

And my life was a mess. Despite having a college degree in Chemistry, I had a hard time finding gainful employment. I was living with my parents. I had few friends and I didn’t have a good relationship with my family, either.

But I didn’t lose hope. I thought maybe I just hadn’t learned the right thing or done the right thing yet. I read a ton of self-help books over the years. In fact, self-help was pretty much all I read. I devoured books from people like Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Louise Hay, and many more books that talked about the law of attraction.. These works were helpful, but not life changing.

It wasn’t until I discovered letting go that everything changed.

One day I was searching for another self-help program that could maybe help me get out of this rut I was in. As I browsed the web I saw someone say on a forum that letting go was the key to making the law of attraction work.

When I read this, something spoke to me inside. I knew I had to give it a try. I got my hands on a recording of a retreat that was all about letting go and started listening. It was totally eye opening. The instructor talked about how “want equates to lack” and encouraged listeners to let go of wanting (among other things).

All of this made sense to me. I understood how wanting created the feeling of lack – and if you feel lack, then that’s what you create in life.

So I did. And it felt good. As I let go if felt like a great burden lifted from my shoulders. And it was energizing. I could hardly sleep the first night I started. But I kept listening to this retreat without taking many breaks.

A few days later I experienced something I will never forget. I went for a walk to burn off some of the excess energy I had. As I walked I felt the most intense happiness and bliss. I remember thinking to myself: “what is this?” “what is happening?”

As I looked around, I saw no separation between myself and anything else. I also noticed that I loved everything, unconditionally. At the same time, I felt Kundalini energy rising up my spine. The only way I can describe it is like an orgasm of the soul.

In that moment, I realized that what we are is unlimited and loves everything unconditionally. I realized that we are not separate from Source, or God (or whatever you want to call it) and that everything we are seeking – love, abundance, eternal life – we have already.

I manifested my dream job and discovered I could create anything I wanted…

Shortly after that I manifested my dream job with a startup bio-fuels company. That was my first major win. As the years went by, I was able to use the law of attraction to create pretty much anything I set my mind to.

But I never gave much thought to relationships. I had good social skills and I was a good looking guy. I didn’t have a problem getting a girlfriend. I didn’t think to use my knowledge to create my ideal relationship. That is, until I had several bad breakups in a row.

After those breakups, I decided it was time to create my ideal relationship. I felt frustrated that I had loved and lost so many times. I never wanted to feel that pain again.

So I decided to use the techniques I learned to create my ideal relationship. I got clear on what my ideal partner and my ideal relationship looked like to me, and started letting go. 

I meet my dream girl, effortlessly

Laura and I in Colorado Springs

About a month after I did this process, my mom called me up, told me that her wellness coach was single and wanted to know if I was interested in going on a date with her. I said yes, and when we met up, we connected instantly.

Laura was deeply spiritual like I was – something I desired in a partner. We also held similar social and political beliefs. And we like the same things, enjoy doing the same things, etc. Sure we have our differences like any couple, but overall we are a great match and we disagreements between us are rare.

We’ve been together for well over a year now and I can say that this relationship is the most fulfilling I’ve ever had.

And the funny thing is I didn’t even have to do anything to meet her. I didn’t need to use any of the dating advice or “pick-up tricks”. And I didn’t have to go anywhere to meet her. My mom of all people introduced us!

This is an example of what’s possible when you get clear on what you want and let go. The law of attraction really works! Things like this happen frequently in my life. The right thing always seems to show up at the right time. 

Here’s how you can attract your soulmate now…

The letting go techniques I learned have had such a profound impact on my life, that I love sharing them with anyone who’s interested. 

To help people like you create the relationship you desire, I’ve put together a free 5-part video coaching class that explains everything you need to know to attract your ideal partner. I call it “How to Manifest Love“. 

It’s free to sign up, and the techniques I share are easy to learn and use in your daily life. 

Click Here to enroll in my free “How to Manifest Love” coaching class now.