It can be hard to go through life without a partner - someone who loves and supports you. It doesn’t matter how much wealth or success you achieve, if you don’t have anyone to share it with, it doesn’t do you any good.
Finding your soulmate is one of life’s greatest milestones. It’s something that anyone can do, and it’s a lot easier than you think.
After 11 years of studying the Law of Attraction, I have finally mastered the art of manifestation - creating whatever you desire in life. Using the simple steps I outline in this article, I manifested my ideal relationship in 30 days. You can too. It’s a lot easier than you think.
What you’re going to discover here is probably different than other teachings you’ve seen. That’s because they are missing a critical element to manifestation - letting go. Without letting go, it’s a lot harder to create. The reason why is when you are holding on, you don’t have any room for anything new. To attract anything into your life, you must first make room for it.
In my free coaching course called “How to Manifest Love”, I go more into depth about letting go and how it affects your ability to use the Law of Attraction in your favor. But for now, understand that letting go is just a decision. All you have to do to let go of something is to decide. That’s all there is to it.
So with that in mind, let’s begin.
Step 1: Get Clear on What You Want
A lot of people think that their soulmate is some premade person just for them. And in some respects, they’re right. But what’s missing is the importance of getting clear on what you want in a partner and a relationship.
If you don’t know what you want in a partner, how will you know it when they show up? How will you know to avoid the wrong person while you wait for the right one? Without getting clear, you may find yourself in a relationship with the wrong person. And when your true soulmate shows up, you can’t be with them because you are committed to someone else.
So start by getting clear on what you want. I recommend that you right down the qualities of your ideal partner and your ideal relationship and review them regularly. You can also refine them as your preferences change.
Here are a few questions to help you get clear:
What does your ideal partner look like?
What do they value?
What are their hobbies?
What activities do you want to do with your partner?
Do you want to have children?
How do they look?How do they act?Are they funny? Are they strong?
How do you want them to treat you?
The more details you can get, the better. When you think about with each quality, become aware of how you feel about it. And then let go of the feeling. The reason why I recommend adding letting go to this process is that sometimes the things you want in your relationship are not what you truly desire.
They are things that your parents or your friends told you that you should want. Or they are things that society or the media told us we should want. But they are not things that you actually want.
As you come with these qualities and let go of your feelings about them, what you truly desire will become more and more clear. The things that other people told you that you should want will go away and your true desires will remain.
This process is the most important place to start. The reason why people don’t get what they want, is because they don’t know what they want. So get clear on what you want and you will find that your ideal relationship comes much sooner than you think is possible.
Part 3 of my “How to Manifest Love” coaching course goes more into depth about getting clear on what you want in a partner and a relationship.
Step 2: Let Go of Your Attachments and Aversions (Desires and Fears)
With any goal we have, there comes with it attachments and aversions. Attachments are things that we think we need for our happiness and fulfillment. Aversions are things we want to avoid or fears we might have.
Both can get in the way of manifestation. The only way to remove them, is to let them go. And the only way to let go of attachments and aversions is to become aware of them.
Step 2.1: How to Let Go of Fears and Aversions
Let’s first talk about aversions or fears. We all have fears around relationships. And let’s face it, relationships are scary. Most people have been hurt in a relationship at least once. And the pain that pain can be intense - something we never want to feel again.
So we focus on avoiding that pain. We might even avoid dating altogether just to avoid repeating past trauma. But whenever you are focusing on avoiding something, you are still focusing on it. And this makes the Law of Attraction work against you because you’re focusing on what you don’t want.
Remember, the Law of Attraction doesn’t distinguish between good or bad or right or wrong. It simply brings to you what you focus on. So if you want to experience more pain, the best way to do that is to focus avoiding it. That way it remains squarely in your mind and the universe will work diligently to bring it to you.
Oh, you don’t want to experience more pain? Oh ok, well in that case all you have to do is let go of your aversions and fears. And this is easy to to do.
Whenever you catch yourself feeling fear about relationships, just welcome the fear, allow it to be there and experience it fully. It’s important to experience your feelings fully. Most of the time we resist things like fear, and this only makes them stronger. But if you allow them to be there, then they will often leave of their own accord and will no longer take up space in your mind.
If after you have welcomed the fear, there it is still there, you can then decide to let it go. It can often feel like feelings are holding onto you, but in reality you are holding on to them. If you make the decision to let it go, it will release. And you will no longer use the Law of Attraction to create what you don’t want.
I go more into depth about how to let go of feelings like fear in my “How to Manifest Love” coaching course.
If you are interested in taking the course, click here to enroll now.
Step 2.2: How to Let Go of Attachments and Desires
Now let’s talk about attachments and desires. You may think that it’s a bad idea to let go of these things. A lot of self-help will tell you that the only reason why you don’t have what you want is because you don’t want it enough.
Nothing could be further from the truth. There are several reasons why this isn’t true. On a metaphysical level, when you are wanting something you are holding in mind lack. You are saying “I don’t have this” or “I’m all alone and nobody loves me”, this sends a signal to the universe: Lack! Lack! Lack!
And the universe will diligently bring you more lack. When you let go of attachments and desires, you will feel a greater feeling of wholeness and completeness. And this feeling will send a signal to the universe of abundance, comfort, and love. And your life circumstances will change to reflect this new paradigm.
On a practical level, attachments can also cause us to engage in self-defeating behaviors. Have you ever talked with a salesperson that was so pushy and eager for the sale that you didn’t want to buy what they were selling, even though you might have otherwise?
Or have you ever been on a date with someone who acted so desperate and needy that you didn’t want to date them?
The root cause of these self-defeating behaviors are attachments or desires. When you attach yourself to something, what you are saying is “I need this for my happiness and fulfillment”. And this creates feelings of lack and desperation. And our feelings affect our behaviors. So if you feel like you are lacking, you will act that out and engage in the self-defeating behaviors I mentioned earlier.
But if you let go, then you will feel more whole and complete within yourself. That is your true nature - your natural state. It is only by holding onto these feelings that we believe otherwise. When you let go of your attachments, you will feel more and more whole and complete in the moment. And this will put an end to self defeating behaviors - forever.
In part 4 of my “How to Manifest Love” coaching course, I go into more depth about letting go of attachments and aversions. I even do a guided release meditation to help you get started.
Step 3: Focus on the Love You Already Have and Be Happy Now.
This is the final component, and arguably the most important. Most people suffer from a terrible disease called “I’ll be happy when X happens” or “I’ll be happy when I have X”. And so they are unhappy for most of their lives. Even when they get what they want, they are happy for a few brief moments and then they find something else - some new goal to defer their happiness to.
People who are unhappy are not attractive. No one wants to be with an unhappy person. But luckily for you, it’s easy to be happy.
Focus on what you already have
We are usually so busy looking at what we don’t have, we never notice what we do have. Even the sunrise can be a source of great joy if you allow yourself to recognize its splendor and glory.
Another way you can do this so to notice and appreciate the relationships you already have that are great. It could even be something so simple as your cheerful barista who always makes your coffee just the right way. The more you can enjoy what you have, the happier you will be and this will make people magnetically attracted to you.
The final secret is to be loving. Most people believe that happiness is when they are being loved - when someone loves them. But if this were true, then celebrities who get love from millions of people would be totally happy. But they aren’t. Some of these people even kill themselves because they are so miserable.
The truth is that the more you love, the happier you are. If you can focus on loving, the love within you will expand. Love is like a muscle, the more you work it, the stronger it gets. And the more you love, the happier you are. Look for things to love every day, as often as you can. If you see a beautiful flower, notice how you love it and see if you can love it even more. And then you will notice how happy you are too.
Soon you will be able to love everything unconditionally. And when you can do this, you will also be unconditionally happy. And this is the most attractive way to live. If you love unconditionally, you attract others to you. Everyone wants to feel the love of another. And it feels good to be around a happy person.
So focus on loving as much as you can, and you will be surprised how happy you can be!
If you're serious about attracting your soulmate, here are the next steps:
In my “How to Manifest Love” coaching course, I talk a lot about love and happiness. In section 2 I lay out the exact pathway to finding unconditional love and happiness. I also do a guided release meditation to help you get started.