The 2 Major Blocks to Having Your Ideal Relationship (and what to do about it)
When trying to create your ideal relationship, there are two major barriers that prevent you from succeeding: feelings of fear and and feelings of lust. These two emotions create internal conflict and rob us of the energy that could otherwise be used to take the right actions.
In this post, you’re going to learn how these two emotions affect you, and also how you can release them so they no longer affect your thoughts, actions, and overall experience of life.
How Fear Gets in the Way in Our Relationships
Let’s first talk about fear. Fear paralyzes us and prevents us from taking action towards our goal. This could manifest in many ways such as:
- Not asking out your crush.
- Not putting yourself out there.
- Not having that crucial conversation with your partner that you know will lead to a better relationship.
- Not expressing yourself honestly to those around you.
The most common fears around relationships is fear of getting hurt or taken advantage of. Other common fears include fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, and the fear that we are not good enough.
These fears are not real, they are just thoughts. Even if you have experienced something negative in the past, it’s still just a memory. It’s not what’s here and now. When you hold on to feelings of fear, you are focusing on something that you don’t want. You are at least making it real in your mind.
Do you really want to do that? Do you really want to keep experiencing something that you don’t want over and over again?
The good news is that you can easily let go of fear. And when you do this, you will stop suffering its negative effects.
Later on In this article, you're going to discover a quick and easy exercise you can use to release feelings of fear anytime you want.
How Lust Prevents You from Having Your Ideal Relationship
The second major barrier to having your ideal relationship is lust. When we think of lust, often the first thing that comes to mind is sex. But lust is more than that. It is a feeling of “I want that” or “I need that”. But there is some hold-back. Often with lust comes a feeling of “it’s not right for me” or “It’s not possible” or “I can’t”.
The problem with lust is that it is a feeling of lack and limitation. If you approach a relationship or potential partner from a place of lack or neediness, your chances of success are not very good.
Neediness is repulsive, not attractive.
The good news is that lust is just a feeling, it’s not you, and you can let it go. And when you let go of lust or wanting, you will notice more and more a feeling of completeness or wholeness.
And this is a much more attractive to other people. If you feel whole and complete within yourself, those around you will feel the same.
And they will naturally be attracted to you because of how you make them feel.
How to Be Free From Fear and Lust So You Can Create Your Ideal Relationship
In the video below, I guide you through an exercise to release fear and lust. There’s really only two things you need to do in this exercise: welcoming and letting go. These two inner actions are usually the opposite of what we normally do.
What we normally do with uncomfortable feelings like fear and lust is try to cover them up, avoid them, or get rid of them. And this doesn’t work. This only serves to strengthen the power they have over you. If you welcome or allow them instead, they release all on their own.
Similarly, we also tend to hold on to these uncomfortable feelings. It may seem like these feelings are holding onto you, but in reality you are holding on to the feeling. If you decide instead to let it go, you will feel it release and you will be free from it.
Just follow along as best you can and do it just for now. You can always go back to your old habits later. You really can’t do this the wrong way.
Now take a few moments and notice how you feel after doing this exercise. Do you feel more empowered? Do you feel more free or more courageous or more whole and complete? Just take a few moments to check inside and see if you can feel a difference.
If you’re feeling a difference, great! You’re beginning to release feelings of fear and lust. If you’re not feeling anything, that’s OK too. Either way, continue using this process whenever you notice fear or lust arising in consciousness.
Fear and lust are just feelings. They are not you and you can let them go. The more you let go fo these feelings, the more you will feel empowered to create whatever you want in life.
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